June in Bangalore

Paper is coming along fine, though slow. Sent out the first draft to coauthors, am now revising it.

We might get the keys to an apartment today, which means the slow process of moving should start soon, cutting into my writing time (2-3hrs/day at the moment). Today we went to the bank to set up a joint account, and we had to bring my husband’s mother, as she was “introducing” us, which is actually a technical term since the banks here are much more picky than in the US about who they give accounts to.

By the way, the new apartment is about 45min from here, and TM who is 2yrs old only lasts 30min with any ease. After that it’s a fight. And we’ll have to get our stuff shipped from storage to the apt, and unpack it. But we can’t live there yet ‘cause there’s no fridge, no clothes washer, no beds, and we can’t sleep on the floor ‘cause tile is dang hard. So we have to have beds, or at least mattresses, buy fridge etc, get it set up, all with a cranky (teething and often diarrhea-ish) toddler. ? And who knows how long it'll take to get phone and internet there.

Here’s how the trip to the bank went:

We left 11am (ick) but Vivek was up 'till 1am working so of course couldn't leave early...but that's too close to lunch for comfort, for Maya. Bank busy, and this is India I'll remind you... and I'd forgotten to bring proof of address. Angels slipped a phone bill into my mother-in-law's purse, though, so we were saved. You have no idea how mad my husband would have been if we would've had to go back home. Still took, what, 45min at bank, 30min to get there, 30 min back, 2hrs tot, 1:30pm when got back. At bank TM started getting diarrhea.

Public toilet -- no toilet paper, no soap, a hole in the ground and a bucket of water. Toddler with diarrhea. Okay? Was I happy? There are no words I can think of to describe how I felt. But happy is not one of them.

Changed her in the car on the way home. She fell asleep on the way home. Stayed asleep for another 30min after we got home, then puked herself awake and pooped at the same time poor kid so had to endure a full-body soap-up. In the bathroom without a tub. No tub. You just turn on a tap and do your best with the floor and a bucket and then try to swish the leftover water & goo into the drain as best as you can afterwards. 'Cause you'll have to climb over the wet floor to get to the toilet later. (modern toilets here thank goodness).

I didn't wash her hair 'cause there was no hot water 'cause you have to turn on the hot water heater (small, 1 per bathroom), and the poor kid was freezing, so her hair still stinks a little of puke. Fed her some fried-up rice chip sort of things (food is good here, thank goodness) and managed to convince her to sleep again after giving tylenol and threats and almost completely going crazy and chanting in my head in time to the fan "I wish I could die I wish I could die I wish I could die" while knowing that dying would only make things worse.

Isn't that a rotten thing? That there's absolutely no way out! And of course that's when you're supposed to realize the way out and I know that I really need to give up control but when you're surrounded so often by things that you really really don't like it's hard to remember that God can handle it and you don't have to…

In India with kid and no apt

We made it! We're here! 2 months since my last post. A few words of advice -- cancel your Sprint account before you leave. Also -- if you marry someone from India, get a PIO card (Person of Indian Origin). And if you have any children with aforementioned Indian citizen, get them an OCI card (Overseas Citizenship of India, I think). That will save you lots of trouble.

When you get to India, specifically Bangalore, do have a guide or someone who can take you around, unless you a) speak whatever language they speak wherever you're at, or b) have a close relative who has lots of time and is willing to take you under their wing. If you are travelling there with a very young child, well, I hope your relatives take good care of you, have lots of time to play with the kid, lots of toys, a playground nearby, etc. Did I mention toys and a playground? Have you tried to entertain a single 2-yr old child in a toyless flat lately, and no play area outside? I don't recommend it... If your very young child has allergies or special needs, I hope your relatives love the child enough to find ways of making things work for them. If you are planning on moving to a developing country with a very young child and don't know anyone there and are not naturally adventurous and garrulous and enterprising, uhhhh, well, how do I say it... don't?

We're extremely lucky to have my mother-in-law living here, since the temporary apartment set up by my husband's work is not really tenable for a 2-yr old. Especially since his boss realized that the office doesn't work well and they'll have to use the temporary apartment for an office for awhile. So yes, thank goodness my mother-in-law owns a flat. Though it's small, it has 3 rooms, and we've taken over two of them. What would we do if she weren't here? It would be fine if it were just us, but with a 2-yr old (and an active one at that, with allergies), it's tough. I should really play tourist sometime soon and take bunches of pictures and post them! Though we're in a giant city, we have cows, goats, and bulls pulling carts. Few cats, lots of dogs.

I'll try to write something more detailed sometime. Right now, TM's taking a nap, so I thought I'd jot down some thoughts. Basically, we're looking for a flat to rent, and once we're set up I'll be able to perhaps compile a summary of the emails I've been sending to family about the transitions. Setting things up here is nothing, I mean, nothing at all like setting things up in the US. Nope. But I'll learn...

Cheers
rhamnites